The Toad
by Five Minutes Til Bedtime
Summary: In those bizarre moments just before dawn, Todd let his walls come down. One-shot.


Title: **The Toad**

Summary: In those bizarre moments just before dawn, Todd let his walls come down. One-shot.

Fandom: X-Men: Evolution

Word Count: 744

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In those bizarre moments just before dawn when the sky is as black as it will ever get and a curious hush has fallen over nature as the nocturnal clock out and the day-time guys beg mother for five more minutes – in those moments Todd let his walls come down.

His strange bent body would crunch in on itself even more as his daily desire to appear more human that he actually was dissipated at the lack of audience. Walking – which commanded of him an unnatural straightness – was forgotten as he sprang from his makeshift bed of blankets, rotten wood, and cinder blocks to the large window that dominated his and Freddy's room. The window kept the room unbearably chilly in the winter for a cold-blooded creature such as Todd, but he complained little when he squeezed easily through and met the fresh air of night dying.

Flying – and one must remember the Superman of the old days who could only jump skyscrapers to understand the lack of difference – through the still air and deep into the New York woods Todd's presence had no more effect than a regular toad. In a way that no human or mutant had ever done, nature accepted Todd as a simple fact. There were plenty of toads in the woods, its many residences didn't find the need to gawk at one particularly oversized specimen.

There was a large pond some short distance away from the Brotherhood's house. Todd visited it nearly every morning. He stripped out of his clothes (he was a toad, remember?) and submerged himself deep into the murky green water. The pond was surprisingly deep near the middle and Todd enjoyed diving down and squishing his fingers and toes through the mush at the bottom. The tall fronds along the edge of the pond were home to a myriad of other amphibians, many of whom would join Todd in the water if only to demonstrate their own froggy masculinity to the she-toads by the shore who found Todd's considerable bulk extremely desirable.

If Todd was honest with himself, which he often wasn't, he would admit that nowhere felt more like home than a good swamp or pond. Even deeper did he acknowledge that even the cruel streets of his childhood seemed more welcoming than a life among _decent _folk and the Brotherhood's blusterous members. At least then he didn't have to pretend. No one cared if he acted human when he was leaping away with their wallets and a face splitting grin.

Todd remembered the initial lure of the Brotherhood – the idea that he might finally be amongst others like him – and the pain that he felt in discovering that he was a freak amongst freaks. Certainly, others could pick up a truck with one finger and shoot beams with their eyes, but they at least _looked _normal. Todd was a toad, and really, weren't there enough stories about witches and warts for him to understand.

They didn't want him. They certainly didn't respect him. Sometimes Todd could convince himself that he was liked, just a little, and needed – he was the first, you know?

But in the tranquil air of morning when things were simple and clear, he could see that he was merely fooling himself. The Brotherhood didn't need him – fine, he didn't need them either. Why would he want to be a part of a world that constantly told him he was disgusting and useless? Why would he want to stand up straight when his crooked spine was made for jumping?

But these thoughts never lasted through dawn. As the sun rose and he caught sight of his reflection in the water – _cold, slimy, revolting _– he'd heavy himself from his sanctuary and rejoined humanity. He'd force himself away from his home and into the strange world of men, where he'd uncurl his spine and ignore the twinge of pain and shame it caused him.

And when he'd reach the house he'd climb into the shower and try to scour the smell of himself out of his skin.

Because one couldn't be a toad and be a man at the same time.

So he'd destroy himself – forsake himself – forget himself – to try to find a bit of himself that wasn't revulsive to the rest of the world.

And he'd pray there would come a day when he'd have the courage to stay away forever. Then one day he'd be able to go home.


End file.
